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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?